My Counselling Approach
Its hard to avoid jargon when describing my counselling approach but I will try.
Like most other counsellors in Britain, I was trained as a person-centred counsellor, and despite teaching mindfulness and having an interest in other approaches, I still firmly believe that person-centred counselling is the most effective.
The person-centred philosophy is that all human beings are essentially trying to get on with their lives as best as they can, and move forward in a positive way, a bit like a plant naturally moves towards the sun. However, for some people life's events have such a detrimental affect on them that they go off track and despite their best efforts get stuck in self-defeating patterns of behaviour. To change this isn't easy but the first thing that needs to happen is to start to notice, acknowledge and accept that things aren't ok , try to be kind to yourself and treat yourself as you would a friend or fellow human being.
Being kind to ourselves is harder than it sounds because once we've started to behave in a way we don't find acceptable, we may become ashamed , evasive and defensive which may affect relationships with family, friends and those closest to us. Hiding or denying our true feelings and ignoring our needs makes us tense, insecure and afraid. This is exhausting and can rob us of the pleasures of life, make us feel like running away, and generally unhappy and dissatisfied. This may finally result in panic, depression, anxiety or all three. Its then that we often seek help
If during counselling, you are valued and treated with respect, really listened to and understood you may discover what's really going on for you, and what has been holding you back. You will start to believe that you deserve a better life and feel empowered enough to make the changes needed to make this happen.
Obviously we all have very unique and different stories and we all behave differently in different circumstances but whatever your behaviour and the reasons for it, it is possible to make real positive change with the help of counselling.